Cover of A Parade of Horribles

A Parade of Horribles

by Matt Dinniman


Genre
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, Humor and Comedy
Year
2026
Pages
705
Contents

Chapter 61

Overview

The group commits to a desperate experiment to smuggle Li Na out of the dungeon by hiding her inside a cleaner bot and selling it to Herot at the Pineapple Cabaret. Rosetta turns Carl's cactus into a status beacon, giving Li Na a way to signal whether she survived and whether others can safely follow. Li Na's emotional farewell to Zhang deepens her character and raises the personal stakes, while the limited capacity of the method shows that even success will only save a fraction of those trapped.

Summary

In the guild common room, Carl joins Mordecai, Rosetta, Mistress Tiatha, Zhang, and others as Li Na prepares for a dangerous escape attempt. Mordecai explains the method: Li Na will willingly enter an XL pet carrier, and before the carrier forcibly ejects her, the cleaner bot Suckira will store the carrier. Donut will then list Suckira for sale so Herot can buy it and release Li Na inside the Pineapple Cabaret, which lies outside the playable dungeon. The plan could remove Li Na from the game without killing her, but everyone admits the transfer and her survival after the floor collapses are still uncertain.

Rosetta then explains how the group will track Li Na's fate using Carl's cactus, which Li Na has enchanted with a dread trap. If the cactus stays glowing, Li Na is alive in the dungeon; if it blooms and loses its glow, Li Na has physically left the game; if it turns to dust, Li Na has died in the dungeon; and if the glow slowly fades, Li Na is trapped in storage. Li Na can also send a message back through the cactus: one flower means the route is safe for others to use, while three flowers mean she is alive but the method is unsafe. Mordecai warns that even if the plan works, their resources only let them send about fifty more people this way, and the sold cleaner bot cannot be quickly recovered because of shop timer rules.

Prepotente challenges the plan's risks, especially the possibility that Li Na could remain trapped inside the cleaner bot, but he ultimately leaves after expressing interest in attaching his personal space to the guild because he likes the pet stables and the Bopca. Around the edges of the tense scene, Carl and Donut trade jokes about the cleaner bots' ridiculous names, and Donut mentions Linus pestering Bautista about tea. Those lighter moments only underline how strained everyone is while waiting to commit Li Na to a one-way test.

Before the transfer, Zhang apologizes to Li Na for failing to protect her brother Jun and for surviving when Jun did not. Li Na rejects his guilt, says Zhang has been a good friend, promises to clear the way and keep the war mages from turning on their group, and tells Zhang not to lose his smile. She then reveals that she used to imagine a life with him and thanks him for always trying to protect her. After refusing any other farewells, Li Na lets Zhang activate the pet carrier, Suckira stores it, and the room watches Carl's cactus for a sign of disaster.

When the cactus shows no immediate sign that Li Na has died, Mordecai powers down Suckira and brings it to the shop terminal. Donut successfully lists the cleaner bot for sale, and despite a brief magical flare from Mordecai, the transaction goes through. The message announcing that the item has sold confirms that Li Na has been sent onward to Herot, making this the group's first real test of a possible evacuation route to the Pineapple Cabaret.

Who Appears

  • Li Na
    Volunteers for the escape test, sets status signals, and gives Zhang a heartfelt farewell.
  • Carl
    Observes the plan, clarifies its stakes, and provides the cactus used to track Li Na.
  • Mordecai
    Explains the smuggling method, manages the cleaner bot, and oversees the sale.
  • Donut
    Helps interpret the plan, jokes about bot names, and lists Suckira for sale.
  • Zhang
    Apologizes over Jun, receives Li Na's confession, and activates the pet carrier.
  • Rosetta
    Explains the risks and uses Carl's cactus as Li Na's remote signal system.
  • Prepotente
    Questions the plan's failure modes, then asks about attaching his space to the guild.
  • Mistress Tiatha
    Supports the plan by insisting that a similar escape has happened before.
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