Cover of A Parade of Horribles

A Parade of Horribles

by Matt Dinniman


Genre
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, Humor and Comedy
Year
2026
Pages
705
Contents

Chapter 8

Overview

Donut and Carl assess the rewards from her new Sekhmet-linked class, discovering several powerful items for Donut, Mongo, and Rend, but also new political danger tied to Odette's apparent control over Sekhmet. As Donut opens her many achievement boxes, most rewards are minor, yet a few standout items significantly improve her support and combat options. The chapter ends with the most important development: the godslayer reward from Meatus does not appear as gear but seems to transform Donut herself, hinting at a dangerous new power.

Summary

Carl asks Donut to show her new accessories from becoming an Assassin of Sekhmet. Donut reveals a beaded headdress called the Assassin's Veil, which boosts dexterity and gives precognition against incoming attacks or binding effects. Mordecai warns Donut not to drain its power into her tiara yet because the veil's restrictions would transfer too, including automatic hostility from enemies of Sekhmet, which could be dangerous now that Odette likely controls the goddess.

The group then examines two pet-only headpieces meant for Mongo and Rend. Mongo's Nemes of Pestilence can make him temporarily invulnerable and stronger if Donut is near death, and his bites can inflict a severe disease. Rend's Wrap of Sekhmet's Compassion offers a similar emergency invulnerability effect but grants healing instead, and fatal bites can trigger resurrection magic. Bigs complains that he got no hat, and Mordecai suggests Donut's Former Child Actor class may eventually unlock mercenary accessories.

Donut moves on to her achievement rewards. She has forty boxes, mostly low-tier rewards, but also several important special boxes from her War Crime spell and her Faction Wars victory. As she opens them, she mostly receives poor clothing, healing scrolls, and a large stack of Emergency Gremlin summoning scrolls that can repair race vehicles or biological mounts. Rosetta briefly comments on Justice and Tipid, noting that Justice did something nobody understands and that Tipid no longer remembers him.

The valuable rewards arrive at the end. A legendary box gives Donut a set of glittering Danforth crossbow bolts that do no direct damage but can pin part of a target's body in place, potentially with brutal consequences if the target is moving. A celestial box grants a Crupper of the Benevolent Champion that matches her existing champion cloak, and Mordecai is immediately impressed. Finally, the godslayer box from killing Meatus manifests as smoke and leaves no visible item behind, but Donut's right paw begins glowing painfully. Mordecai realizes the reward is affecting her directly, and the change proves powerful enough that when Donut extends her claws, she rips the kitchen table in half.

Who Appears

  • Donut
    Opens her rewards, shows off new Sekhmet gear, and begins undergoing a painful godslayer transformation.
  • Carl
    Evaluates Donut's new items, plans around race logistics, and watches her rewards unfold.
  • Mordecai
    Identifies item effects, warns about Sekhmet-related risks, and recognizes Donut's final reward as beneficial.
  • Rosetta
    Comments on Justice and Tipid while observing Donut open her boxes.
  • Mongo
    Receives a powerful pet headpiece that can trigger invulnerability and inflict sepsis with bites.
  • Rend
    Receives a pet headband that can heal allies and potentially resurrect the dead.
  • Bigs
    Complains about not receiving a hat because he counts as a mercenary, not a pet.
  • Meatus
    Dead god tied to Donut's godslayer box, which manifests as a direct change to her paw.
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