Cover of A Parade of Horribles

A Parade of Horribles

by Matt Dinniman


Genre
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, Humor and Comedy
Year
2026
Pages
705
Contents

Chapter 4

Overview

Carl and Donut stop their race to save the crashed Team Free Love instead of abandoning them, because another eliminated team could force later heats to pit crawlers against each other. Donut effortlessly kills a special guest death manatee and triggers an ominous audience-vote mechanic, while Carl learns the bugbear racers are self-aware recycled NPCs promised freedom if they win. The chapter deepens the moral horror of the dungeon and ends with Carl choosing to tow the wrecked team onward.

Summary

After the system announces that the Trauco Triplets have been eliminated because their mount expired, Carl brakes near a burning, overturned minivan at the cave entrance. Despite Prepotente’s earlier warning about not letting more teams drop out, Carl decides they have to help Team Free Love. He orders Mongo to stay in the truck, asks Donut to handle the nearby monster, and focuses on saving the vehicle.

Donut destroys the level 90 Screeching Death Manatee, Miss Talulah, with a quick pair of magic missiles. The kill triggers an unusual notification because the creature is a special guest monster, and Donut chooses the option that lets the audience vote on its fate, even though neither she nor Carl knows what that choice will cause. Meanwhile, Carl uses Temporary Water Source scrolls attached to a bucket and a bowl to create improvised hoses, and the two bugbears finally put out the fire in their minivan.

Carl and Donut speak with the surviving bugbears, Radoslav and Jasha, while their third teammate, Alevtina, lies dead inside the wreck after breaking her neck in the crash. The two reveal that they are not ordinary racers but recurring NPC beings who slowly realized their lives had been reset again and again across different scenarios. After learning from a dying crawler that their world was a game, they regained memories of previous existences and were offered a choice: return to a cold in-between state or race for a chance at permanent freedom.

When Donut asks about the prize, Jasha explains that winning the race would mean release to a real place where they would never have to fight again. Carl realizes that if Team Free Love fails to finish, it may increase the odds of future crawler-versus-crawler heats, so he decides to help for both practical and moral reasons. He tells the bugbears the truth about why he wants to save them and proposes towing their wrecked van to the finish line, and Jasha accepts the plan as honorable.

Who Appears

  • Carl
    Stops to save Team Free Love, puts out the fire, and decides to tow their wrecked van.
  • Princess Donut
    One-shots the death manatee, triggers an audience-vote mechanic, and questions the bugbears about the race.
  • Radoslav
    Bugbear racer from Team Free Love; mourns Alevtina and explains the team's hopeless situation.
  • Jasha
    Bugbear racer who reveals the racers' repeated NPC lives and the promised prize of freedom.
  • Alevtina
    Dead third member of Team Free Love, killed in the crash before Carl arrives.
  • Miss Talulah
    Special guest Screeching Death Manatee killed instantly by Donut near the cave entrance.
  • Mongo
    Remains in the truck as Carl orders him to guard it during the rescue.
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